tiger blood

So I dropped off the face of the earth with the blog again... BUT! I did not go totally downhill.

I'll be honest. The funeral and the meal after was NOT paleo or whole30 compliant. I have had a cheat meal here and there, averaging about one meal a week. I'm learning to not beat myself up about it, because this is life. Life has to be livable.

I have been going to crossfit every. single. weekday morning for the past month (missed one Monday WOD on memorial day because I was recovering from a stomach bug), and I have felt like crap up until this week (read: I just wanted to take a nap alllllll day long, and was Miss Crankypants alllllll day long because work got in the way of said nap). This week, my body decided to catch up with my brain, and I am feeling awesome. Like I switched out my wimpy human blood for tiger blood.

I'm still not doing all the movements Rx'd (my foot decided to act up a bit again this week after a long day on my feet giving athletes eye exams at the special olympics on Sunday), but I am getting there! And I feel STRONG, which is really a great feeling.

I introduced a friend to crossfit by giving her a free month pass that I won at CFI's holiday party. I knew she would love it because she is strong, and she's not afraid to try new things. Nor does she back down from a challenge. She was crazy fit already, but she has passed me up entirely on some of the movements. There are parts of me (parts of which I'm not particularly proud) that hate the fact that she is kicking my ass after one month when it took me years to get where I am (albeit I backtracked a lot when I had to sit out months at a time for my two foot surgeries -- and gained 30 lbs in the process), because it means that I am more competitive than I'd like to admit, but I'm learning to accept where I am and work towards getting better. She is keeping me on-point with my drive during the WODs, and making me show up for WODs every single day, which is much more than I can say for myself when I was going on my own, so I am very thankful for that. I just need to let the need-to-be-awesome-at-everything go.

I have gained a couple of pounds, but I'm noticing some muscle definition where I used to have a soft, round profile. My pants split in the leg last week, but I honestly think it's because my quads are getting swoll, and not more fat that I put on (I'm pretty sure you could google "crossfit legs/booty" and you'd find lots of crossfit people complaining how jeans don't fit their asses anymore because squats and deadlifts will give you a derrierre you can bounce a quarter off of).

The plan is to up my cardio a little (doing a light jog when I take Kina for walks after crossfit, and work my way back up to a 5k) to see if I can help burn off some fat, keep up with paleo at least 80-90% of the time, sleep as much as I can, and blog when I need the accountability.

RAWR.

May 30, 2013

Sleep: 7 hrs, but I woke up at 3 am, and then every half hr thereafter. When I know I have to wake up early, sometimes it's hard for me to stay asleep.

exercise: crossfit at 5:30 am, walk with kina, then yoga at 10:30 for an hour with mom, whose exact words when I asked her how she feels about yoga were "it's torture!" HAAAAA. She does, however, acknowledge that it's good for her, so she's going to keep going until our 2 week trial runs out. Then I think the frugal Chinese woman in her won't sign up for a membership, but maybe she'll go to the yoga classes at her LA fitness gym. *sigh* I do what I can.
It's 8:50 pm, and my fuelband reads 3504.

Yesterday's experience with being ravenously hungry taught me that I needed a...
Post-WOD meal: 1 egg scrambled with spinach and onion, handful of macadamia nuts

After yoga, came home to eat meal 2: sauteed kale (I used lots and lots of olive oil as my fat source), leftover halibut with pico de gallo. Still delicious.

Went to run errands after eating. Ended up at my parents' house to help my dad edit his eulogy for my uncle, and they wanted to go out for dinner. We went to stonefire grill, and had a salad with chicken and tri tip. The salad may not have been perfectly paleo, but it's my dad's favorite salad, and I wasn't about to deny him tonight. 

Family coming in to town tomorrow before the funeral on Saturday. Eating will be interesting!

I eat so well when I'm not working!

I'm trying not to count the days that I've eaten Whole30 style, but maybe if I start counting, it will help me stay on track? 

Today, I am pooped. 

Sleep: 7 hrs

Exercise: crossfit at 5:30 am followed by a short walk with kina, then yoga with mom (my mom went to yoga, you guys! I'm pretty proud of her) at 9. It's 7:53 pm, and my fuelband reads 3415. I think I was at 2600-ish after yoga. If you've never tried yoga, don't knock it until you do. It is truly an ass-kicking workout. I'm doing a 2 week trial at this place with my mom. I'm trying to find a studio that I like, then I will commit to going a couple times a week.

Meal 1:

This meal didn't happen until about 11 am because my mom and I stopped by a farmer's market after yoga (read: I was starving. Will not be doing that again anytime soon). Yes, I have become one of those people who go to yoga and shop at farmer's markets and gets csa boxes. First world problems? I'm full of 'em!

eggs, scrambled with veggies (spinach, zucchini, tomato, onion) and half a mini avocado

  

Meal 2: after eating, my mom and I went to Whole Foods. Yep, more cliche. My mom bought glutinous flour, thereby ruining the cliche (thank God!). We looked at the prices fish at Whole Foods, and decided to go to Costco instead. 

I have been struggling with eating meat lately. Not sure why, but it just doesn't sound appetizing (am I headed towards pescetarianism? Who knows). I bought some halibut, and pan fried it. Whipped up some fresh pico de gallo and added some leftover broccoli/cauliflower rice to go with it, as well as the ever-present avocado as a fat source. I've always been afraid of cooking fish (it seems so fragile, and I never know when it's ready). This was my first foray into cooking white fish. I have to say, it was delish!

Meal 3: I picked up a rotisserie chicken while at costco. I almost didn't want to eat it, but I know I need some protein with every meal. I managed to eat a drumstick, which felt about right. Maybe it's not so much eating meat, it's cutting down on the portion sizes (maybe I was eating too much meat before??). I made veggie Japanese curry (not to be mistaken for vegetarian curry because I used chicken broth and ghee) and ate it with more leftover broccoli/cauliflower rice.

I conked out on the couch for about half an hour after eating meal 2, because well... I was tired. I love when I am physically exhausted, and I can sleep when my body wants to! It's the worst to be physically exhausted at work and have to push through another 4 hours of patient care. I am dreading the end of my staycation...
My new (selfish) goal in life is to be able to crossfit, yoga and cook. I'd be a pretty happy camper if I got to do all three every day (ok, let's just go all-out and add napping to that list). I know once classes start back up, something will have to give, but I'm planning on living it up this summer!

If at first you don't succeed...

Try, try again!

After graduation, a bout of stomach flu, and a death in the family, I need yet another reset. I'm on a mini staycation (I took this week off to visit my brother in NorCal, but because of my uncle's passing, we cancelled the trip -- rather than go back to work, I'm taking this opportunity to clean my house, relax a little, and reset).

Sleep: 8 hours? Not sure... I was on my way to resetting my internal clock back to its natural rhythm -- read: go to bed past midnight and wake up past 8 am, but I noticed that I ran through a gamut of excuses not to go to crossfit this afternoon. Therefore, I will be going back to 5:30 am crossfit. There are no excuses to missing crossfit at that time except for sleep (which, I'll grant you, is a pretty legit excuse).

Exercise: crossfit at 4:30 pm. Bear complexes. 5 rounds of 7 reps. Max weight for me was one round of 75#. Phew.

Meal 1: 2 eggs, scrambled with zucchini (grown in my parents' back yard), spinach, maui onion and tomato with a mini avocado (grown at the local buddhist monastery, frequented by my dad).

 

Meal 2: deconstructed turkey burger, consisting of pan-fried turkey burger patty, onion, tomato on a bed of spinach

Meal 3: cauliflower "rice," lemon dill salmon, half a mini avocado. I followed that up with a handful of almonds, cashews, cranberries (not pictured).

Important to note, but not really relevant to this post (just for my own future reference): I went 5 days in a row to crossfit for 2 weeks before this week and threw in 2 sessions of yoga as well, thanks to a good friend joining crossfit for a month to try it out. She is extremely driven and disciplined when it comes to training. It's been great feeding off of her motivation (especially because my own personal store of motivation has been low lately), but I think 5 days in a row is just a leeeeetle too hard on my body. I'm thinking a rest day on Thursday, but adding Saturday would be the best. Will try it out soon and see!

fuelband: no idea. didn't wear it all day.

People at crossfit have been starting another round of 30 days of paleo. One of my co-morning crossfitters has decided to adhere to the whole30 rules until she fits back into her size 8/10 clothes (with a few planned cheats for celebrations/social occasions on the way). I think that's an excellent goal, so I'm going to adopt the same.

keeping the streak going

Sleep: 7 hrs (10:15 pm to 5 am). Not as tough to get up early as I thought it would be. Tomorrow may not be this easy, but it did feel good to just go to sleep when I was starting to get tired.

Exercise: crossfit. Wall balls, pushups, and double unders. I did the run at warmup, and did singles for the jumprope! This is HUGE for me, because it was the first time I haven't had to protect my toe (or my knee). It's the first small step in getting back to doing WODs unmodified!

Took Kina for a walk before dinner with my parents and bro and niece around the park across the street from my neighborhood. She is so much fun because she loves Kina while simultaneously being afraid of her. It makes for a very amusing interaction.

There's something to be said for just getting outside and moving. It does wonders for my psyche and stress management. Work has not been very fun lately, and it was starting to affect me in all sorts of crazy ways (getting fatter from stress eating being one of them). Playing with doggies and babies is a great mini-escape. They are so in-the-moment, and every new discovery is exhilarating and exciting (the slide at the park brings on squeals and peals of laughter from her, which makes me laugh too -- I haven't pealed in such a long time). I wish we could all be like them (but then we'd never get anything done, so I guess not).

Meal 1:
sweet potato hash browns, veggie egg scramble.
I LOVE crossfit days because I feel that I am justified in carbing it up a bit at breakfast and lunch! If you've never tried sweet potato hash, you should! It's so great.

Meal 2:
tuna salad (mayo, celery, boiled egg, onion)
sweet potato chips
the celery was from my CSA box, and it was so celery. It's hard to describe, but the all the veggies from my CSA boxes have been their veggie selves, only more saturated with their own flavor. I love it!

Meal 3:
made my own kimchi jigae from leftover pork, napa cabbage (from my CSA box) and old stanky kimchi. Really hit the spot because I've been wanting some sour, spicy soup; and also, kimchi is my favorite probiotic!

I snacked a little on some strawberries from the new CSA box I picked up today. I have raved enough about my CSA box, but imagine strawberries that taste even more strawberry. So. Good. I have a feeling I'm allergic to them, though, because I had a box a couple weeks ago, and broke out in a rash again (I recall eating strawberries right around the last time I broke out in a rash on my legs as well).  We'll see if I react to them again this time. I will be very sad if I do.

It's 8:25 pm, and my fuelband reads 3179.

another successful day, in the books!

back to it (again)

So I started last week with the best of intentions, but it ended with a big fat pffft. There is nothing left to do but pick myself up, dust off my knees and get going again. I've learned from last week that maybe 4 non-paleo meals is too much. Each meal became a gateway drug to the next big fix. Live and learn, right? This week, I'm going to go for 2 non-paleo meals, and I'm going back to crossfit, knee or no knee. My brain/body need that reset, or the stress from work will make me stuff my face until I don't feel [the stress] anymore.

Today's stats:
sleep: 7 hrs. Fell asleep at 12:30 am/1am, woke up at 7:30, but snoozed until 8:30 am. This is a shitty way to sleep. I felt much better when I wasn't pushing past tired just to finish a tv show. Ben Franklin, as much as I hate to admit it, you were right. Early to bed, early to rise... make Ed feel a whole lot better.

Meal 1:
2-eggs scrambled with veggies (mustard spinach, tomato, onion)
half an avocado

Meal 2 (not pictured because I was too excited to eat it):
kalua pork (a la nomnom paleo) with salsa from Trader Joe's
grilled veggies (asparagus, zucchini)
2 tangerines (from CSA box -- so great, you guys! So flavorful)

Meal 3:
paleo Japanese curry
sauteed swiss chard (CSA box ftw!)
Green Goddess juice from Mother's Market (spinach, kale, celery, parsley, cucumber, apple, lemon)

I stayed late at work meeting with student to practice some extended BIO with them in preparation for the final proficiency in 2 weeks, so meal 2 and 3 came about 3 hrs apart in favor of me not starving to death and eating some bad-for-me snacks that the students bring to the lab when they practice (read: this is what happened last week).

I snacked on roasted seaweed and some trail mix (simply almonds, cashews and cranberries from Trader Joe's) as well. 

It's now about 9:20 pm, and my fuelband reads: 2488

Tomorrow, back to crossfit, and hopefully back to better sleep!

Where I've been

So it's been a little while since I wrapped my first Whole30 and embarked on another immediately after it.

I meant to post about my progress, but... it just didn't happen.

Summary:
After 67 days of Whole30 compliant eating, I lost 17 lbs, and was squeezing into my almost fat pants!

I went snowboarding towards the beginning of March, fell, and gave myself a pretty big hematoma on my left knee. This effectively has wiped me from crossfitting since then.

Since being off the Whole30, I've let little dietary nuisances creep back into my life like:
1. cookies, chocolate, ice cream, nacho cheese and chips. I've gained back 7 lbs!
2. because I haven't been going to crossfit regularly, it also means I haven't been working out. At all.
3. My sleep patterns have shifted away from 7-8 hrs a night to... whatever I can get
4. work stress did a little sneak attack number on me, and now I'm swamped!

Overall, I'm just not feeling as awesome as I did when I was Whole30 compliant, and I can feel myself giving in to temptation a lot just because it's there, and it looks pretty good (I'm being totally honest -- the stuff I've allowed myself to eat doesn't even look amazing, it just looks pretty good). My belly feels a little more unsettled, and stress gets to me a little bit more like it used to.

Now my struggle is balancing an enjoyable and livable life with a healthy one. I don't believe that the two are mutually exclusive, but I'm having a heck of a time finding the sweet spot.

Here's my proposed plan:
Whole30 compliance 80% of the time. If you figure 3 meals a day (and let's face it, I'm lucky sometimes if I get the full 3 meals) x 7 days, that's 17 meals that need to be Whole30 compliant. I get 4 meals to enjoy with friends!

Whole30 has some recommendations about riding your own bike, and from the looks of the past 3-4 weeks, I still need the training wheels. I love the part about jumping back on, and doing whole3's or whole7's! It gives me hope that I don't have to do a Wholerestofmylife!

As with any change in my life, I've noticed I keep up with it better if I blog my progress. So... lucky you!

Here are today's stats:
Sleep: 7 hrs (12:30 to 7:30 -- working on shifting this back to early morning)
Exercise: none

Meal 1:
leftover brussel sprouts cooked with bacon (sorry, no pics, but trust me. It was delicious!)

Meal 2:
broccoli/cauliflower rice with japanese curry (sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, curry powder, ghee, chicken stock)

Meal 3:
Thin-sliced beef wrapped in lettuce (dipped in sesame seed oil, balsalmic vinegar, pepper)
thin-sliced beef stir-fried with snap peas and spicy Chinese bbq sauce (aka satsa sauce -- technically not paleo because there is soybean oil in it, but again... progress, not perfection!)

I ate almost half a head of lettuce by myself at dinner tonight. This is the 3rd week that I've been getting farm fresh veggies from a local farm in the form of a CSA box that I split with a coworker every week. So far, it's been lots of fun learning to cook new things (I know what to do with beets now!), and it's one sure way to make sure I eat my veggies! I know this sounds really silly, but the lettuce is amazeballs. Who would have thought lettuce could taste so good???

This week's box has mustard spinach (it looks like giant spinach, honestly) and a maui onion! I can't wait to try it!

I forgot to put my nike band on this morning before I left, so there are no numbers to report. Here's to first day back in the books! I'll try to post more pics tomorrow!

Whole30 wrapup

I meant for yesterday to end with a big bang instead of a pfffft, but work and commitments piled up this week, leaving me a little bit worn down. I need quite a bit of personal/quiet time in order to refresh -- I think it confuses some of my more gregarious friends that spending time with people (even loved ones) actually tires me out, especially given that my chosen profession involves a lot of interpersonal interaction. With the conference last weekend, Chinese New Year, and another meeting on Monday, I don't feel quite myself (read: I'm getting a little snippy and bitchy).

Over dinner/drinks last night and dessert at the meeting on Monday (it looked so great, you guys), the only thing keeping me from going rogue off the Whole30 was the fact that I was 2 days away from finishing. Had this been any other situation, I would have given in and eaten the dessert or the chips (I love chips!). It also made me want to just finish this damn Whole30 and not go for round 2 with Crossfit Irvine that I committed to doing just last week. I just want some damn dessert! Even if it's honey on nuts with dried fruit!

This morning, though, after another 8 hours of sleep, I'm feeling a little bit better. I'm probably halfway to my goal of fitting into my almost fat pants. My thinking is that If I'm dreaming of all the "cheating" I'd do should I go off the Whole30, then maybe I'm not quite ready to finish the Whole30. I'm hoping that another round of 30 days will make my food choices more automatic. So, as much as I would like to have some honey covered nuts and fruit, I'm going to commit to round 2. My eczema has also flared up again, and I want to see if I can get it completely under control with another 30 days.

Ok, enough with the serious. Here are my wrapup stats:

1. 9 lbs down!

2. 1.25 inches off waist, 1 inch off hips

3. acne all gone!

4. no more coffee/caffeine dependency! I drink it now only once in a while because I love the taste.

5. better sleep? Hard to say... at the very least, this experience has taught me how important sleep is to my sanity and what role it plays in my need to feed my face vs. actual hunger

6. better mood. I am not half as bitchy (especially at students) than I was before all this. Ask them!

7. clearer head = more organized at home and work. I am less behind, and less easily stressed out at work.
8. I earned the right to post this graphic:

 Woo hoo!

Here's to round 2! I will actually be going for a Whole62 if you're counting (CFI's 30 days don't start until Friday). I haven't decided if I will be as meticulous about posting every meal every day here (aren't you tired of reading about what I'm eating??) or not. I want my food choices to be automatic so that it's just a given that I'm eating well, but if it gets too tempting to cheat, I will start posting again to keep myself accountable.

Whole30 day 30!

I can't believe it's day 30!

sleep:
7.5 hours? I got home around 10:40 last night after a meeting, and needed to fart around for a bit to unwind before going to bed, so I'm not exactly sure what time I went to bed. This also meant I didn't make it to crossfit before work (again).

exercise:
none, except for CPR training (you try doing chest compressions and rescue breaths for 2 minutes at a time and tell me it's not a mini-workout).

meal 1:
spicy mexican beef stew (I turned nomnompaleo's recipe into a stew) over a bed of broccoli slaw (yuck)
kale stir fried in olive oil and garlic

meal 2:
chicken salad bowl from Chipotle (no rice, no beans, but with guacamole and mild, medium and hot salsas)

meal 3:
mexican beef stew (as a small meal before going to meet a friend for "drinks" to catch up)

meal 4:
ceviche (did not eat the chips) with a little guacamole
al pastor meat from a taco (did not eat the tortilla)


30 days down... will post some thoughts/results tomorrow. Thanks for reading!

Whole30 day 29

Sleep:
8 hrs. But that meant I didn't have time to go to CrossFit before work.

Exercise:
None

Meal 1:
2 eggs scrambled with veggies (no more Kalua pork!)

Meal 2:
Spicy Mexican beef
(Need veggies)
Macadamia nuts

Meal 3:
Small bowl of spaghetti squash, sauce
Ate this before going to a dinner meeting so that I wouldn't be tempted to eat bread and butter, dessert

Meal 4 (at the meeting):
Mixed greens salad
Ribeye steak with green beans (didn't eat the potatoes, and didn't eat the delicious chocolate/peanut butter ganache either!)

Long day. 'Nuf said.

Whole30 day 28

4 weeks down... hard to believe it's been that long!

Sleep: not exactly sure how much sleep I got, but I didn't officially get out of bed until 10:45 am. That's a freaking record for me -- was probably making up for the sleep deficit I amassed during the meeting. Also, crying makes me tired.

Exercise: none. Just felt like vegging out on the couch all day, so I indulged myself.

Meal 1: 

kalua pork and veggies -- because it's the first day of the new year, and the tradition is to eat leftovers on the first day to signify that the previous years' prosperity will overflow into the next year. Then I threw out the rest of the kalua pork (because I only had a little bit left, and I'm getting pretty sick of kalua pork).

Meal 2:

Green juice from WholeFoods -- apple, celery, spinach, lime, lemon, and some other veggies that I can't remember. 

I was out buying groceries for the week. I know I should have had some protein and fat as well, but I just wasn't hungry.

Meal 3:

1/2 roasted chicken from Chicken Dijon

baba ghanoush

steamed veggies

macadamia nuts

My pants felt really loose yesterday. I think I plateaued during the last week or two because I was snacking on nuts a lot (I may not have recorded them on the blog, now that I think about it; but I did snack quite a bit on nuts), and my clothes weren't getting any looser. Being away from home and not having nuts to snack on at the meeting broke my plateau. I put my smaller jeans on yesterday, and I'm able to button them up! They are still ridiculously tight (in addition to giving me an awesome muffin top), but I can at least button them, which is a huge improvement from not even getting them up past my butt a few weeks ago.

Lesson? Stop snacking, dummy!

Also, probably a good idea to do another Whole30, as it seems I still have the habit of putting things in my mouth even when I'm not hungry.

Whole30 day 27

Sleep: 5.5 hrs :o *yawn

Exercise:
None (COA house of delegates)

Meal 1:
Bag of cashews ($4!)
Banana and cup of berries ($6!)
Not ruining my whole30 (priceless)

Meal 2:
Went to misfit bar in Santa Monica. Had a burger made from grassfed beef, onion, pepper, tomato, avocado (no bun, of course)
Kale salad (there was quinoa in it so I stopped after a couple mouthfuls)
roasted brussel sprouts

Meal 3:
some veggies from Chinese New Year dinner at my Mom's

Meal 4:
leftover spicy Mexican chicken
kabocha mash

Had a mini emotional breakdown at my mom's house, which I totally wasn't expecting to happen. Had nothing to do with the food (or lack thereof of my eating). I don't mention this to make a big deal out of what caused it, but just that it took me totally by surprise. Maybe I've just been avoiding the issue, and I finally wasn't able to avoid it anymore? Who knows.

The cool thing is that I usually turn to food for comfort, and I didn't feel the need to do that this time. Maybe letting myself feel things instead of medicating with food is the way I'll be dealing with things now?

Whole30 day 26

Sleep:
Crap. Hotel beds are the suck. Probably slept 6 hrs but woke up with red, puffy eyes. Felt like I slept for 3 hrs.

Exercise:
None. Meeting all day

Meal 1:
Catered breakfast at the hotel of scrambled eggs (possibly from powder?)
Bacon (a LOT of bacon -- I traded my hash browns for bacon from a vegetarian fellow attendee. Great trade)
Fruit (2 strawberries, slice of pineapple)

Woke up with rash on my legs again, I think from eggs that were in the salad I ate last night. I might need to get some antihistamines for the rest of the day considering I added to the fire by eating eggs again this morning.

Meal 2:
Chicken and beef fajita meat
Salad without dressing
Jicama salad (jicama, cucumber, oranges, chili powder, vinegar?)
Strawberries

No cookies or brownies, rice! And it wasn't hard!

Meal 3:
ALT umami burger (lettuce wrapped, no cheese)

Whole30 day 25

Sleep:
6 hrs. I always end up staying up too late the night before traveling.

Exercise:
None.

Meal 1:
Kalua pork with veggies
Kabocha mash
Avocado

Meal 2:
Spicy Mexican chicken
Butternut squash
Cashews

Meal 3:
Chicken salad from panera

My fuelband didn't sync right last night because I was at almost 2800 points by 10am and hadn't moved nearly enough to be at 700.

Posts will be less well-formatted because I'm blogging from my phone.

Whole30 day 24

Sleep:
~8 hrs (yes, folks, I was in bed by 9:15!), but it felt like I tossed and turned a lot. I would love a solid nights' sleep one of these days.

Exercise:
Crossfit -- I am feeling pretty awesome. I may not be up to my original weights on lifting, but just doing the movements and getting through the WODs is feeling great. My recovery is much faster too!
Walk with Kina
1 burpee

Meal 1 + bonus post-WOD meal:
Kalua pork with veggies (in coconut oil)
kale stir fried with garlic and olive oil
kabocha mash

Meal 2:
roast beef over spinach with peppers, cucumber, avocado, onion, tomato from Whichwich. I ordered it with spicy mayo, but didn't end up needing it.

Meal 3:
Deconstructed turkey bacon avocado burger
Kale (not pictured)

It's 9:45 pm, and the fuelband says: 3491

Tomorrow I will be going straight to the conference after work (it's only in LA, but I will be staying there because the meeting starts at 7 AM on Friday). Thus begins my biggest challenge weekend because I won't be able to cook anything or have any control over what's served (catered breakfasts, lunches and dinner out).

Whole30 day 23

sleep:
7 hrs. I actually was ready for bed by 9pm last night, so I could have gotten a full 8 hrs. Somehow I always manage to fart around for an hour doing nothing of significance, and really regret it the next morning when I have to drag my ass out of bed at 4:50 am.

exercise:
crossfit
took kina for our usual 2.4 mile walk

Meal 1 + bonus post WOD meal:
kalua pork with veggies
kabocha squash mash

Meal 2:
leftover chicken drumsticks made by @eperry for the superbowl party (so glad I kept them, and wishing I had kept more!)
roasted butternut squash
plantain chips (I ate too many of these. I think this is why I have not noticed my pants getting looser)
1 cutie (tangerine)

Meal 3:
I loved nomnompaleo's recipe for beef so much that I decided to make more -- except that I had no more beef at home. I had some chicken tenders, though, so I used those instead. Turned out pretty well!
I put them on a bed of roasted butternut squash. Yummers.
I finished off the rest of the plantain chips afterwards. Thank God no more of those.

it's 7:32 pm, and the fuelband reads 3029.

Was talking with a good friend about how things have been going with the Whole30. She questioned where I get my motivation to stick with it, and how I can manage to get up to go to crossfit in the morning on top of it.

My answer? Failure is not an option. I think I mentioned this before, but all of the 30 day challenges I've participated in before have been half-assed on my part. I have always felt that a Whole30 -- no, paleo for 30 days even -- is impossible to do, so I've gone into the challenges knowing I would fail. Committing to the Whole30 (a true Whole30) this time left no room for mistakes/cheats. Have I been perfect thus far? no... I've had some grapeseed oil and canola oil here and there, but knowing that there just is no room for slipups, and that everything I put in my mouth is a choice I make (as Whole9 says, you don't often slip and fall, mouth open, onto a doughnut) has somehow made a huge difference in my sticktoitness. I guess I finally got tired of sabotaging myself and making excuses for my lackluster efforts at being healthy (but complaining about how fat I was getting nonetheless). Knowing that I have friends out there reading and backing me up has also been HUGE. So thank you, my friends, for the support and helping me to get this far.

One week left. 7 days to victory!

Whole30 day 22

sleep:
6 hrs.

exercise:
none. needed to go over my lecture before work again.

Meal 1:
leftover beef and kabocha mash

Meal 2:
beef and kabocha mash (I really need to buy more veggies)
plantain chips

Meal 3:
My parents came over. They didn't get to see me all weekend, and they wanted to hang out, so we decided to go out for dinner. My mom wanted salt and pepper pork (translation: deep-fried salt and flour with some pepper and a little bit of fatty pork) from a place nearby. It happens to be almost next door to Chicken Dijon, so... I had another gyro plate with baba ghanoush and steamed veggies. Far more Whole30 compliant than any Chinese restaurant. It does make me a little sad that I cannot eat the food of my people while doing the whole30, but my clear skin and looser pants speak volumes as to whether or not it's necessarily a bad thing that I am not eating Chinese food.

There was a lot of talk yesterday between me and my paleo-esque/zone buddies as to the sustainability of eating this way for life. Crossfit Irvine will be starting another 30 day challenge about 2 days after this one ends. I've been debating whether or not to allow myself 2 balls-out cheat days or to just keep going. I'm leaning towards continuing because if nothing else, this Whole30 (in comparison to previous 30 day challenges) has taught me that I sort of need an all-or-nothing situation when it comes to eating. Give me an opportunity to cheat, and I will manage to completely derail. I don't feel like I've deprived myself of anything in the past 20 or so days, but I know that life happens, and I won't want to miss out on certain things in the name of the Whole30.

One of my friends is doing 100 days of paleo. I'm not crazy enough to do a Whole100, but the idea of 100 days of paleo intrigues me. The hope is to transition from 100 days of paleo into paleo for life, which would be great. I'm pretty sure my sweet tooth would be happy with some of the paleo desserts I saw last night!

It's 7:25 pm, and my fuelband reads 1561. Besides this being the time of the month where I want to eat massive quantities of food, it's also the time of the month that I am just exhausted all the time. I have to say I'm not that fatigued this time around, but I did find myself wanting a nap when I got home from work. I decided to try listening to my body for once (rather than denying it everything it asks for) and took a nap instead of going to crossfit.

I will be at a California Optometric Association meeting on Friday and Saturday, and then it's Chinese New Year this weekend (read: more food of my people and bad food options). I'm pretty sure there will be plenty of sleep-deprivation and temptation (going out for dinner/drinks, continental breakfasts pastries during the meeting). I need to go into it strong so that I can stand up to temptation.

Whole30 day 21

3 weeks down!

Sleep:
7 hrs.

Exercise:
more chores, and cheering for the 49'ers.

Meal 1:
bite of kalua pork
macadamia nuts

I was so busy cleaning my house and doing laundry I didn't really eat until 2:30 (just before my guests came for the superbowl party). Forgetting to eat? Whaaaa? That NEVER happens.

Meal 2:
I should have snapped a picture of the food... dammit.
We had paleo chicken wings/drumsticks, chicken satay, oven braised spicy Mexican beef, Kalua pork, kale salad, bacon-wrapped asparagus, salsa, and two paleo desserts.
I was really sad that I couldn't try the desserts or the tortilla chips (because when the game got really close, I really wanted something crunchy to nosh on). I didn't realize until too late that I had plantain chips, but still had some when I remembered.

The oven-braised beef from nomnompaleo's recipe was delish! I'll definitely be making more of that!

I didn't log it, but around 10 pm last night, my fuelband read around 4200.

Whole 30 day 20

Sleep:
didn't keep track, but stayed in bed (cat-napping here and there) until about 9 am (I think I got up at 5 to let Kina out though)

Exercise:
none -- errands and housework!

Meal 1:
spaghetti squash and spaghetti sauce

Meal 2:
gyro plate with baba ghanoush and steamed veggies
(I was out running errands)

Meal 3:
Kabocha squash mash
Oven-braised Mexican beef, a la nomnompaleo. I think the chili powder I used is stronger than hers, but it's still mighty tasty. I made it for a superbowl party that I'm hosting tomorrow for my crossfit peeps. A good number of us are paleo, whole30 or zone, so there should be some good eats!

it's 9:40 pm, and my fuelband reads: 3004.

Whole30 day 19

Sleep:
7 hrs

Exercise:
CrossFit
Short walk with kina

Supplements:
Fish oil, D3

Meal 1 + bonus post WOD meal:
Kalua pork with veggies
Kale
Kabocha mash
Strawberries

Meal 2:

cauliflower fried rice

spaghetti sauce

Meal 3:

Lettuce wrapped turkey burger patty with onion, tomato, avocado, bacon

kabocha squash mash (A LOT OF IT)

macadamia nuts

fuelband around 11 pm: 3200

This might be a bit of an overshare, but it's that time of the month where I want to eat EVERYTHING. I don't really have cravings (which is new), but I have wanted to eat A LOT more. I'm probably eating too much, but I'm going to consider it a win that I'm sticking with Whole30 compliant foods.

Whole30 day 18: check yourself

Sleep:
7.5 - 8 hrs.
Am still feeling a little tired when I wake up, but I've definitely got more energy throughout the day.

Exercise:
none

Meal 1:
cauliflower fried rice with extra spaghetti sauce
coffee

Meal 2:

spaghetti squash with sauce (no picture because I ate in clinic in between patients -- it was a little crazy today)

Meal 3:

small bowl of spaghetti squash with sauce (no picture again because my parents were at my house and I just plain forgot to take a pic)

kabocha squash mash

strawberries

macadamia nuts

So you may be wondering what the title of this blog means. Lately Coach Rob has been emphasizing shoulders and mobility to keep proper form and prevent injury when lifting (almost everybody I know who lifts has a "shoulder thing"), and it's really become apparent to me that I have HORRIBLE posture. Without even realizing it, I scrunch my shoulders up and forward, which forces my neck and head forward as well. It's probably partly from being a slouch and partly how stress from the day manifests itself. 

Coach Rob does a mental check every hour to remind himself of his posture. I started doing a self check as well, and it's pretty amazing how easily/quickly I slip back into my bad posture! I also like to look at it as a reminder to not let the stress get to me. Maybe it's all mental, but when I relax my shoulders and square them, I feel more ready to take things on? Try it!

It's 9:28 pm, and my fuelband reads: 2487 

Whole30 Day 17

Sleep:
7 hrs, but very difficult to get up. edit: I take that back. It's always hard to get up at 4:50 am, no matter how much sleep I've gotten. I perked right up by 5 am, and was not dragging ass like I used to throughout the day.

Exercise:
Crossfit
Walk with Kina

Supplements:
Fish Oil
D3

Meal 1 + post WOD bonus meal:
the ever-present Kalua pork with veggies (tomato, mushroom, spinach, onion)
kale
half an avocado

small bonus: my pants felt looser when I put them on this morning!

Meal 2:
spaghetti squash and sauce

Meal 3:
cauliflower fried rice, which really doesn't taste or feel like rice, but delicious anyway. I was still a little hungry halfway through so I added some extra spaghetti sauce I had (not pictured).

I ended up snacking on plantain chips afterwards and ate more than I should have. Snacking is always an issue with me because I am such a volume eater (need to eat a lot in order to feel satisfied). Good thing there are no more plantain chips at home! It was probably also an indication that it was time to go to bed, but I ignored it and stayed up way too late watching TV (old habits die hard).

fuelband at 11:00 pm: 3000

Whole30 day 16

Sleep:
8 hrs. I did not go to Crossfit this morning because I didn't get home until 10 last night. I'm finding that sleep really affects my ability to stay strong in the face of temptation. If I'm tired, I give in more easily to cravings (or they surface more often -- see yesterday's post about wanting to nosh on something and eating too many nuts/plantain chips).

Exercise:
took Kina for a walk. We went on a different path, so I'm not sure how far we walked. It probably took about half an hour or so.
Went for oly lifting at CrossFit after work (class got out early, yay!). Today was my first official return to olympic lifting. I am the suck. I miss the days where any weight I threw around was a PR. My max numbers today were pretty sad when compared to where I was before surgery. It's frustrating to backslide, but I'm glad to be back at it, and as Coach Rob says, live to fight again another day.

Supplements:
Fish oil, D3

Meal 1:
Kalua pork with veggies (mushrooms, spinach, onion, salsa)
kale stir fried with garlic and olive oil

Meal 2:
sandwich in a bowl from Whichwich (turkey lunchmeat on a bed of spinach with tomatoes, onions, cucumbers, pickles, bacon and avocado)
I really need to cook something tonight. I don't like spending this much on food per meal

Meal 3:
I had nothing in my fridge, so I stopped by the market on the way home from crossfit and bought stuff to cook for the rest of the week.
I made spaghetti squash, sauce, kabocha squash mash and cauliflower fried rice. While I was cooking, I snacked a bit on sweet potato chips and strawberries that my mom bought from the farmer's market over the weekend (translation: a little bit of fat and carbs). By the time I finished, I wasn't very hungry, but I probably wouldn't make it through crossfit tomorrow morning if I don't eat at all, so I opted for a small bowl of spaghetti squash and sauce:

It's 8:45 pm, and my fuelband reads: 3126

Whole30 day 15

Halfway through!

Sleep:
6 hrs. I got in late last night from the game, and woke up early this morning because I needed to make sure my lecture was ready (I am the ultimate procrastinator) before 9 so I skipped crossfit but was still up at 5 am to work.

Exercise:
none. See above

Meal 1:
kalua pork and veggies

Due to social engagements, energy spent organizing my house and poor planning, I did not make it to the grocery store this weekend. Nor did I get to prepare food for the week. I have a meeting tonight to go to  that will last until 10 pm, so I'm a little bit effed as far as Whole30 goes. I am too far in to screw up, though, so you will be seeing me eat out a lot until I can cook something.

Meal 2:
Grilled cajun swai (from California Fish Grill)
Sweet potato fries

decided to go to Trader Joe's during my lunch break, which was a HUGE mistake. I wanted something to snack on pretty badly, so I bought some plantain chips and some nuts (almonds and cashews).

I have been sitting here at my desk noshing on them like there's no tomorrow. I should not be allowed to buy nuts/chips unless I can prepackage them in reasonable serving sizes. (This was at 5 pm)

Meal 3:
Power Mediterranean salad from panera.
Part of a meatball from bucca di beppo until I realized there might be bread crumbs in it, then stopped.

I'm determined to prove I can survive "life as normal" while eating paleo. Thus far I have been pretty successful. I'm not going to sugar coat it and say it doesn't suck to be eating salad when everybody else is eating pasta and bread. The key is that I'm finally putting my own health in front of my need to fit in and be "normal," and food no longer owns me. It's incredibly freeing (while also incredibly restrictive at the same time. It's an odd sort of oxymoron)

It's 10:10 pm and my fuelband reads 2819.

Whole30 day 14

Sleep:
8 hrs? I didn't keep track. Just went to sleep and let myself wake up whenever I wanted to.

Exercise:
went to the OC Greatpark with Mom, Dad and Kina to try out my new bicycle. We did pretty well until I was playing on the grass with Kina, and slipped and fell on my bum. My pants were soaked through because the grass was still wet from all the rain we've had in southern California. End playing.

Meal 1:
Kalua pork with veggies
2 cuties

Meal 2:
1/3 lb burger in a bowl at the counter with mom an dad (grilled pineapple, tomato, onion, peppers)
Sweet potato fries

Since starting the Whole30, I've restricted my meals with my parents because my mom tends to go a little overboard on feeding me. It's been tough telling her to not cook for me (I realize this also sounds very first-world-problemy), but she has been really great at respecting my wishes. She has tried a number of times to bring me food, but my "no thank you's" are getting firmer, and her response has been more acquiescent.

Meals are a big part of quality time in my family, though, and to deny my mom that is pretty much to renounce my last name. So I took them out for burgers. Yes, I went to The Counter again. I tried for California Fish Grill, but my mom didn't feel like having fish.

My parents commented on how clear my complexion is, as well as how I've slimmed down already. My dad would like to try a Whole30, but when I told him "no soy, no cereal, no rice, no bread," his enthusiasm waned a wee little bit. :) It's ok. Baby steps. I'm hoping the change I show them in my 30 days will be evidence enough for them to clean things up a bit.

Meal 3:
Brat at staples center (clippers game)

Ah, dinner... met up with old friends from optometry school to go to a Clipper's game at the Staples Center. We went to a place called Corkbar to have an early dinner before the game. Everybody else ordered sliders, grilled cheese, steak sandwiches. I ordered salmon and asked to replace the lentils with broccolini.

The time came to leave (we needed to get in to the game) but my food and one other person's food had not come. I started to stress out a little bit because I knew missing the game was not an option, but stadium food is also horrible for a Whole30.

I'm a team player, though, so I cancelled my order and left without eating. At the Staples Center, I ordered a sausage that came drizzled in nacho cheese and peppers (I looked everywhere, and not a description in sight... I should have asked, but I didn't want to be that person that held up a huge line asking if the meat is organic and if there was dairy on it). So I scraped off the cheese (omg, did that really take some will power, because I love synthetic nacho cheese!) and ate the brat and peppers.

My friend sitting next to me ate the bun and the cheese, and then proceeded to buy nachos with extra cheese and a beer. Bastard. Two seats down from me, my friend had popcorn. Jerk.

Me? I sipped my $4 bottle of water the rest of the night. Sigh.

Lesson: I CAN do it. It wasn't fun, but it also wasn't that hard. I felt pretty good about myself. Will I always be so iron-willed? Probably not, but knowing that I can will help me to pause a little longer the next time I'm faced with temptation.

fuelband: I forgot to log again, but at arond 11:15 pm last night, it read about 3200.

Whole30 day 13

Sleep:
Not sure, but around 8 hrs. Slept in until 8:30. I love Saturdays.

Exercise:
None. Chores and organizing my house.

Supplements:
Fish oil, D3

Meal 1:
Kalua pork (yes, I actually made more last night before going to the party) with spinach, onion, tomato and salsa.

I was still a little hungry after eating the plate above, so I decided to make some kale. I loves me some kale.

I've been meaning to organize my house for a long time. Since my parents moved here (and while they were living here), I let a lot of clutter go because there has always been something else to focus on. Things have been thrown helter-skelter into drawers, shelves, closets... wherever there was space. Opening closets and drawers drove me nuts, but I haven't had the time energy to clean up, so I've just been closing the door/drawer and pretending I didn't see it.

Maybe it's because my brain is clearer, or maybe my energy level is up, but I decided to tackle a couple of closets and rooms this afternoon. I made a pretty significant dent, but I still have a lot more to go (edit: I kind of think if I allowed myself to go on for another few years like this, you'd see me on one of those Extreme Hoarding shows. I have a giant pile of stuff that needs to be donated. I have no idea why I've hung onto it for so long).

The funny thing is, I feel so much better having cleared out some of the clutter. Is it crazy of me to say that the clutter was cluttering my brain, sapping me of my energy and making me fat? That's how I feel.

I got so caught up organizing my house that I completely missed lunch. The cool thing is, I wasn't hungry.

Meal 2:
Gyro plate with baba ghanoush and steamed veggies.

I was feeling a little too lazy to make dinner, so I went for takeout at a restaurant near my house. I was one of those people who asked a billion questions about how the meat and baba ghanoush was prepared ("is there any wheat, dairy, soy in the meat?" bleh. Ah well, I've come too far to mess it up on one silly meal) before finally ordering.

It's 7:35 pm, and my fuelband says: 3619. 

Whole30 day 12

Sleep:
7 hrs, no interruptions, but it definitely felt too short when I woke up. Good thing tomorrow is Saturday.

Exercise:
CrossFit
It's still raining pretty hard this morning so no walk for Kina :(

Supplements:
Fish oil, D3

Meal 1 + bonus post WOD meal:
Salmon
Kale stir fried with garlic and olive oil
Butternut squash purée
Half an avocado

Meal 2:
paleo chili

Meal 3:
paleo chili
handful of macadamia nuts at 6:00 pm after work, before going out to celebrate a birthday (so I could stay strong in the face of temptation).

Meal 4:

lettuce-wrapped burger with bacon and avocado (at the party)

I have a feeling I ate too much today in total, but dah well. Win some, lose some!

I forgot to log my fuelband points, but I was over 3000 before the party.

Social events are kind of tough. I really wanted to have some chips! The good news is, though, that my diet has been clean enough that the big, hairy, angry hunger monster doesn't take over anymore. Turning down stuff that isn't good for me is waaay easier when I'm not carb-addicted.

Whole30 day 11

Finally made it into the double digits!
I can honestly say I have never been this consistent for this long on any of my previous 30 day challenges. So, yay me!

Sleep:
8 hrs. Kina woke me up twice, though, so I'm not feeling particularly great this morning. :|

Exercise:
None. Recovery day! Also, it's raining outside. In California, that's enough of an excuse to not take Kina for a walk (poor girl. edit: I saw my parents as patients first thing this morning, and they offered to take her for a walk when the got home. No animals were harmed in the writing of this blog).

Supplements: fish oil, D3

Meal 1:
lemon dill salmon
kale stir fried with garlic in olive oil
butternut squash
coffee

Meal 2:

paleo chili. I have no picture because I ate at my desk in between patients. One of our morning patients came late and made me miss lunch...  so next time you're thinking about being late for an appointment, remember that your doctor needs to EAT LUNCH!

2 cuties
cashews

I seriously debated not eating this evening because it was 8:30pm by the time I got home and I wasn't actually that hungry. Whole9 recommends eating 3-4 hrs before bed, which isn't going to happen because I need to go to bed by 10 in order to get 7 hrs of sleep in before crossfit tomorrow morning. I knew I'd be starving before crossfit, though, so I made (btw, I've just read through this paragraph and can't help but be a little ashamed at how first-world-problemy I sound -- and really, when you think about it, the whole premise of any diet is very first-world-problemy -- "poor me. I have to pick and choose my food based on what's good for me so I don't get TOO FAT." So, yeah. First world problems):

Meal 3:
lettuce-wrapped turkey burger (topped with tomato, onion, avocado, and salsa)

Thank goodness for Trader Joe's and frozen turkey burger patties. I knew buying these would come in handy one of these days...

It's 9:10 pm, and my fuelband reads: 2567

Whole30 day 10

Sleep:
7 hrs. Kina woke me up once. Dragging a bit this morning when I got up for crossfit.

Exercise:
Crossfit. Definitely feeling stronger, more able to push myself this morning.

Meal 1 + bonus post-WOD meal:
Kalua pork with veggies (spinach, tomato, onion, mushrooms)
Salsa
Half an avocado

Meal 2:
Lemon dill salmon
Kale stir fried with garlic in olive oil
Butternut squash

Meal 3:
Paleo chili
Cashews

Got home at 9. Was a little hungry but more tired so I had a bite of leftover fish (literally a bite) and then went to bed.

Fuelband at 9:45 pm: 3046

Whole30 day 9

Sleep:
7 hrs. Kina woke me up at 2:15 to be let outside. I felt pretty tired when my alarm went off at 4:45

Exercise:
Crossfit. Feeling MUCH better. Didn't notice it until Coach Rob pointed out how much better my energy output was today in comparison to last Tuesday when a shorter WOD almost made me throw up --> progress, people!
Walk with kina (2.4 miles)

Supplements: fish oil, D3

Meal 1 + post WOD bonus meal:
Kalua pork with tomato, spinach, onion, mushroom topped with homemade salsa.
Not really sure what to call it, but it was great.

Meal 2:
Power Mediterranean chicken salad from panera
Did you know panera has a secret menu? I didn't either, until now, but it's great!

Meal 3:
apple
macadamia nuts

Meal 4:
Kalua pork lettuce-wrapped tacos with avocado and salsa

it's 8:35 pm, and my fuelband reads: 3225

almost 1/3 of the way done! Hunger is definitely down, and satiety is up (thanks to all the fat I've been eating). Latest craving: Japanese curry! I haven't been able to find a Whole30 compliant recipe though, and tomorrow it might be some other strange craving. If it persists, I will see what I can do about it this weekend.

Whole30 day 8

Sleep: 7 hrs, no interruptions! Felt very rested when I woke up.

Exercise: CrossFit (5:30 am)
Short walk with kina (less than a mile because I was running late for work)

Supplements: fish oil, D3

Meal 1:
Eggs scrambled with veggies (spinach, tomato, mushroom, onion)
Kalua pork
Coffee

my eczema is flaring up again. I'm wondering if it's because of all the eggs I've been eating, so I'm going to try cutting out eggs for breakfast (which means I will be eating more of the same food for all meals... sorry) and see what happens.

Meal 2: snack
Macadamia nuts
Apple

Meal 3:
Paleo chili (ground turkey, onion, broccoli, mushrooms, tomatoes, sweet peppers)
Spaghetti squash

Meal 4:
baked lemon dill salmon with roasted tomato salsa
kale stir-fried with garlic
butternut squash puree

it's 8:25 pm, and my fueldband reads: 3371

Whole30 day 7

One week down!

Sleep: 6.5 hrs. I allowed myself to stay up too late last night, but had to get up early to take Kina to the veterinarian for her vaccinations.

Exercise: none (more errands and chores)

Meal 1:
Eggs scrambled with veggies (tomato, onion, spinach)
Kalua pork
Coffee

Meal 2:
Leftover stir fry from mom's dinner last night
Half an Asian pear
Cashews (not pictured)

Meal 3: snack at the party (I turned down cookies and cake! Cookies and cake, people!)
Chicken drumstick

Meal 4: went out to eat at The Counter with some friends after the party (look ma, more socialization!)
Burger in a bowl with lettuce, tomato, peppers, grilled pineapple
Sweet potato fries (no ketchup/sauce)
I ordered a 1/3 lb burger with guacamole. It came out as a 2/3 lb patty with a bun. When it came back still a 2/3 lb patty as a bowl without guacamole, I decided to just stop sending it back and eat it. I am extremely full (I should have stopped after 1/3 lb), but it was exactly what I was craving.

I cooked up a pot of paleo chili, which is code for "cram as many veggies as I can into a pot with ground meat, cumin and cayenne pepper." I've discovered I really do not like eating whole vegetables -- too much chewing? I do much better when the veggies are chopped up into itty-bitty pieces.

I also made some roasted tomato salsa so I can have some kalua pork lettuce-wrapped tacos this week. I will need to find something else to make mid-week (probably fish again) for the rest of the week, but I'm off to a good start!

It's now about 8 pm and the fuelband reads: 2919