just stop pressuring me (poor me)

been feeling very stressed out lately, and when I'm stressed, I pack on the pounds because I seek food for comfort, and stop exercising.

also, my oldest bro and his family were here to visit, which made it virtually impossible to get a workout in.

what's going on in my life, you may ask?
1. work is really starting to pick up. I'm teaching a lab, staffing at a new offsite, and picking up more hours in clinic. Teaching the lab is fun, and it's really not that much more work, but more hours in clinic and the new offsite are a little stressful. Last week, I had to go back to work after bday dinner for my dad to finish grading to meet the end of quarter deadline. I was there by myself until 11:45 pm. I also had to go in for an emergency corneal ulcer case I was following on Sunday. I think I was at that damn place every day of the week. I'm having flashbacks of 2nd and 3rd year.
Not having two days off in a row really sucks ass. I dunno how other people do it.

2. the new house my parents bought in irvine is almost ready. This means my bro and I will be moving there soon. My dad is still living with us until the remodelling is complete. I am not looking forward to packing up all the crap we have at this house. Where am I gonna come up with the time to move?? Also, living at the new house will add about fifteen minutes to my twenty-five minute commute. Goodbye sleep...

3. I am leading a small group/bible study group for church. It's been really great to meet people, and get more involved, but it's also a huge responsibility. I feel guilty if I don't want to go to our weekly meetings and/or church on Sunday because I am supposed to be an example to other people. Last week was especially bad because I had to choose between church group and family. Luckily, my niece and nephew were at Disneyland, so they didn't miss me. I was dead tired after work because we'd gone to Knott's Berry farm the day before, but still managed to make it to the meeting. I am starting to feel my age, because I don't bounce back from lack of sleep like I used to.

my stress is probably all internal because i feel obligated to be at so many places and/or perform at a certain standard. If i had lower standards for myself (ie, be a shitty staff doc/lab proctor/small group leader), my mental tiredness might not be so bad.

if i can just get off my duff and into a gym, i think the endorphins would kick in, and the stress would cut back. I'm finding it so hard to muster up the motivation to go to the gym after work though, cuz all I wanna do is sleep (it's a vicious cycle). Gonna have to start packing my gym clothes and not allowing myself to go home until I've been to the gym.

all-in-all, though, i should stop complaining. Things could be much, much worse (ie, i could be homeless and hungry with HIV or something). :)

New World Record!

Not really... I am just impressed that I am posting 2 days in a row!

Worked out with D yesterday. I'm very glad I am going with her, because she has pushed me to new heights with the weight. She also bought me a pair of gloves with which to lift (thanks D! I don't have to worry about my ugly callouses when I shake ppl's hands anymore!). Now we are even more badass-looking -- not necessarily actually badass.

Here's what we did (sets/reps/weight):

• squats (2/10/95#) triple digits here we come!!!
• pushups (2/15/BW) still struggling with the last 3 of each set
• seated rows (2/10/80#, 75#) see prev post about plateauing... can't seem to get much higher than this before it becomes too difficult to maintain form
• step ups (2/10/55#) really hate these. Can't wait until we don't have to do them anymore.
• prone jackknife (2/12/BW)

yesterday really challenged me. It felt great. After the shaky, nauseous feeling went away, that is. :P The thing that impresses me the most is that D stayed at the gym to go to a cardio kickboxing class. She is hardcore (and pretty badass, actually).

I am taking the more slackerish slow and steady approach. Gonna try to get some cardio in tonight after work.

I rack disaprine. All the time.

I am blogging under duress because somebody threatened to kill me if I didn't update this thing.

I don't have my journal here with me, but I will try to go from memory.

I took a week or so off from the gym while Daph3000 was out of town to try running. A friend of mine wanted me to run the Nike+ Human Race on Aug. 31. It's a 10k, which is 6.2 miles. I can't run a mile without stopping. You do the math. After a week of training, I was starting to see some gains in my endurance, but my knees started to hurt. I do not love running. I do not love pain. Therefore, motivation to do the Nike+ Human Race is next to nil. It doesn't help that my brother is doing it, and is able to run 5 miles. Just keep rubbing it in. How is it that we are from the same gene pool??

Luckily for me I fear commitment, so I didn't sign up for it before I could prove to myself that I could run a mile at a time. Ah yes, it is nice to be a slacker/failure.

Life got really hectic at home and work last week, so I didn't make it to the gym. It was a friend's birthday party on Friday night in downtown LA that really put me over the top as far as working out. Going to work after 3 hours of sleep does not make Ed a happy girl, nor does it make her want to lift weights the next few days because it takes her waaaay longer to recover from sleep deprivation now that she is old... er. The shit's gonna hit the fan soon when school starts. I can see it already (picking up another 8 hours in clinic, 3 hours of lab, and 2 hours of observation).

Worked out with D on Tuesday:

• deadlifts (2/10/75#,85#)
• overhead dumbbell raises (2/10/2x17.5 --> the 20#'s were taken up... didn't feel like waiting...hate when that happens)
• wide grip lat pulldowns (2/10/75) I think i'm starting to max out on these... 80# makes it really hard to keep up form, and it seems like I've been at 75# forever.
• lunges (2/10/45#)
• swiss ball crunches (2/20/BW)

Got another workout tonight with D, then she and others are off to paradise for a week! We will be switching to Tuesday/Friday workouts because my work schedule is gonna change starting Aug. 18. I want to start training cardio on the off days because my endurance sucks. D and I are thinking of starting a Biggest Loser competition, but it's not as fun when there's only two of us. Let me know if you are interested!