just stop pressuring me (poor me)

been feeling very stressed out lately, and when I'm stressed, I pack on the pounds because I seek food for comfort, and stop exercising.

also, my oldest bro and his family were here to visit, which made it virtually impossible to get a workout in.

what's going on in my life, you may ask?
1. work is really starting to pick up. I'm teaching a lab, staffing at a new offsite, and picking up more hours in clinic. Teaching the lab is fun, and it's really not that much more work, but more hours in clinic and the new offsite are a little stressful. Last week, I had to go back to work after bday dinner for my dad to finish grading to meet the end of quarter deadline. I was there by myself until 11:45 pm. I also had to go in for an emergency corneal ulcer case I was following on Sunday. I think I was at that damn place every day of the week. I'm having flashbacks of 2nd and 3rd year.
Not having two days off in a row really sucks ass. I dunno how other people do it.

2. the new house my parents bought in irvine is almost ready. This means my bro and I will be moving there soon. My dad is still living with us until the remodelling is complete. I am not looking forward to packing up all the crap we have at this house. Where am I gonna come up with the time to move?? Also, living at the new house will add about fifteen minutes to my twenty-five minute commute. Goodbye sleep...

3. I am leading a small group/bible study group for church. It's been really great to meet people, and get more involved, but it's also a huge responsibility. I feel guilty if I don't want to go to our weekly meetings and/or church on Sunday because I am supposed to be an example to other people. Last week was especially bad because I had to choose between church group and family. Luckily, my niece and nephew were at Disneyland, so they didn't miss me. I was dead tired after work because we'd gone to Knott's Berry farm the day before, but still managed to make it to the meeting. I am starting to feel my age, because I don't bounce back from lack of sleep like I used to.

my stress is probably all internal because i feel obligated to be at so many places and/or perform at a certain standard. If i had lower standards for myself (ie, be a shitty staff doc/lab proctor/small group leader), my mental tiredness might not be so bad.

if i can just get off my duff and into a gym, i think the endorphins would kick in, and the stress would cut back. I'm finding it so hard to muster up the motivation to go to the gym after work though, cuz all I wanna do is sleep (it's a vicious cycle). Gonna have to start packing my gym clothes and not allowing myself to go home until I've been to the gym.

all-in-all, though, i should stop complaining. Things could be much, much worse (ie, i could be homeless and hungry with HIV or something). :)