it's been kind of a crazy week.
The weekend was great. Went for a long-ass hike on Saturday with Daph3000. We kicked some serious ass! Hiked for about 3.5 hours, and (i'm guessing) 6 miles. I had ambitions to mow the lawn in the backyard afterwards, but I definitely didn't have the energy for it.
Made a tasty meal of sockeye salmon and string beans for dinner when some friends came over. Good times.
Then on Sunday, got blindsided by a call from my mom that my grandpa wasn't doing well. "Would you mind going to check on him?"
Sure, no prob.
Went to the nursing home, fully expecting it to just be an infection or the flu. He wasn't able to talk or get out of bed, and he was feverish. He doesn't recognize me anymore, but he's always been able to hold a conversation, and he's generally pretty talkative. That day, I couldn't even get a response out of him. I noticed that when I touched him on the right side, he didn't even look at me. If I touched him on the left side, he would at least look at me. Bad news bears. His pupils were ok, and he was able to fight me when i tried to pry his eyelids open. Cranial nerve II intact at least (I know, i know... i'm a nerd... but this is my grandpa).
I talked with the attending nurse, and they gave him some tylenol to lower his temp. After a couple of hours, when his temp still hadn't gone down, they decided to send him to the emergency room. That's when the ish really hit the fan. When they heard he wasn't verbal or mobile, they ran a CT scan. Found an aneurysm that was affecting his speech, and causing pressure to build up in his head. The doctor said at 90 years old, the surgery wasn't worth it, and he would be hard-pressed to find a neurosurgeon that would be willing to do it.
So now, we sit and wait. It's a very eery feeling, waiting for somebody to die. I'm not really sure how to react. on the one hand, i'm sad that this is the end, but i also want it to end quickly. He's in ICU, and my parents are here to wait things out too. It's been kind of tough to stick to the diet because food is a comfort for my family. We've been out to Cheesecake Factory and Claim Jumper already, and my parents are planning on staying another week (at least).
I have found that it's much easier to stick to the diet if i don't even allow myself "just a taste." Once I taste the awesomeness of fat bastards, I can't stop myself. So... I have been watching my family eat lots of fat bastards. Avocado egg rolls, key lime cheesecake, fettucini alfredo... ay me. No thanks, I'll just have a salad with the dressing on the side or a steak with veggies on the side. :( even with all my efforts at sticking to the diet, though, i feel like i'm fighting a losing battle this week. there are so many hidden calories in restaraunt food (ie, veggies cooked in butter). hence the tagline for this post.
Workouts have been a welcome reprieve, for reasons i listed in my last post. they drown out the chaos that's inside my head sometimes.
i'm starting to develop callouses on my hands, and even as a girl, i am totally ok with that. i will wear those callouses as a badge. if a guy judges me for not having baby-soft hands, i will just kick his ass. hahahaha. :) Today, when mike had me doing work on the cable machine, what limited me was my grip more than my strength. awesome.
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