i kind of feel like throwing up right now. It may be from a combination of breakfast-to-coffee ratio, lack of sleep, and nerves. Why am I nervous? Two reasons, really:

1. I just printed an application for another job while at work. People were walking by... there was much scurrying to get to the printer before they did. There's also the whole "i don't know what to do about my job/life/family" issue that comes along with sending this application off that is really doing a number on my stomach.

2. my supervisor just finished asking me about a student that i graded down for efficiency, who is going on probation. She's contesting grades (particularly mine) and going to the dean, etc. to contest them. I am a non-confrontational type of gal. When she came to talk to me, I didn't back down, but felt absolutely horrible for it. Then she went to the higher-ups, who are now examining how i graded her. I was told that it wasn't my grade that pushed her over the edge of being held back in clinic, but with the amount of scrutiny that is going into this, it sort of feels like it was. Ugh. I love teaching, but it really sucks when they suck.
So now I'm going over everything (again) in my head over what went wrong that day... was I unfair? Did I do the right thing? If I cave-in and change the grade, does that set a precedent that I will always cave? Will I be known as the weakest link? Is it better to be known as the weakest link and be liked, or just be known as a biotch?
Just when I had almost convinced myself I am pretty damn lucky to be in a job that I actually like, and is challenging, this situation comes along... I dunno what to do.

Since my last post, the neighbors have called animal control on Alfie for the one day that I tried to leave him at home. I don't doubt that he was barking all day. I don't doubt that he is annoyingly loud. I strongly resent the fact that my neighbors aren't willing to come and talk to me about it, especially since we just moved in. Nice effing welcome to the neighborhood.

The ironic thing is, I had just talked to Anal Neighborlady the day before animal control was called. I went to her house to talk about the dog situation, and she gave me the whole "don't worry about your dog" speech again. "Somebody called animal control on my dog when I first got him, though, so watch out for the other neighbors. If I leave a note, I make sure to sign it. I don't like when you leave it anonymously like that."

based on the above conversation, I eliminated Anal Neighborlady as the Anonymous Caller. So yesterday, I went around to the neighbors behind us to talk to them. They said they haven't noticed our dog barking or whining, but that Anal Neighborlady has a reputation for being very nitpicky. They guessed she was the one that called animal control.

Anal Neighborlady lives to the left of us. The people to the right of us are not home on an extended vacation. There's a row of houses behind us, but the neighbors directly behind us said they are all from Taiwan, and "you know how Asians are... we're loud."

That left the people across the street. I went across the street to talk to them, and the one lady that was home said "I haven't heard your dog at all."

wtf.

somebody is lying. What's worse is somebody is lying straight to my face.

wtf.

Alfie is back at doggie daycare, and is continuing to drain my funds, which were sort of scarce to begin with. :(

I really wanna get away. This other job is looking more and more attractive every day. I have to be careful though... do i want it because it will let me escape from what i'm going through (which, as bad as it may seem now, i know is just temporary)? or do i want it because it really is the better choice?

if i think anymore, my head might explode.

And now, on to the good news. Alfie and I had lots of fun in Vegas this past weekend. There was no barking, whining, and I was able to leave him with his buddies without any problems. I've come to the conclusion that he needs a buddy. I can't get him a buddy, though, until I live on my own in a new place far far away from anal neighbors.

My weight is down despite the trip to Vegas and all the good eats! I'm chalking it up to the fact that I didn't go overboard, and the 3.5 mile breast cancer walk a few of us went on on Saturday. Yay me. :)